This is a story I wrote for my English class and for you Kingdom Hearts fans you probably recognize some things. Dilan was originally based off of a genderbent Xaldin or at least his somebody. However Dilan has become my own character and while I used Xaldin's look that's not really what she looks like now. Plus I have a whole storyline for Dilan that has nothing to do with Kingdom Hearts at all. That's also why I don't consider this fan fiction. You also may notice I added Xigbar or Braig whichever you want to go with. The point of the assignment was to write a story with a moral and I needed a character to show Dilan's true side and I didn't feel like inventing a character from scratch. Also I found out that the name Braig really is a last name and I stole his new first name from someone who's last name really is Braig.
Critique for TheWrittenRevolution: [link]
Questions for TheWrittenRevolution:
I often have trouble finding a variety of words to use instead of the word said for dialogue. Do you think I have a good variety?
Do you think it progressed too fast or do you think the progression was appropriate for this length of a story?
Is there anything you see in this story that you think I could improve on?