“Love is fleeting.”
“I don’t know about that. I think love is eternal.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I don’t know. It’s just what I think. Isn’t love your thing?”
“That’s why I know love is fleeting.”
“But you bring so many couples together. How can you say that?”
“That’s the point though. I bring them together. It doesn’t matter if they have the potential to love each other. One shot to the heart and they swoon.”
“I don’t know.”
“Of course I do.”
“You wouldn’t have given her a second glance if it weren’t for me. Maybe a first, but definitely not a second.”
“I’m still sore about that.”
“Well, you shouldn’t have called my darts girly.”
“It was a joke. Do you have a reason for bringing this up?”
“The point is I played with your emotions and hers. That’s all I do. I toy with people and it’s not even fun anymore.”
“I wasn’t aware it was fun.”
“Of course it was fun. You think the Daphne thing wasn’t fun for me? I was pretty proud of that.”
“Love doesn’t last. I’ve seen it. Eternal love is a lie. They are only kidding themselves. People want that kind of love to be real so they make it last because they are stubborn. They hold on because they don’t want to admit it doesn’t exist and never did.”
“If love is fleeting what does that make you?”
“I don’t even know. I don’t have the luxury of being as sure as the sun.”
“But who’s to say it’s not sure? Love in general that is.”
“Me. I am the authority on love aren’t I?”
“Can we talk about something else? This is depressing.”
I'm in a Creative Writing class this semester and because we were reading a lot of Hemingway I was inspired to write this.
This is a critique on behalf of
I love how you've used bare dialogue with this, without tags or any other descriptors. It makes the dialogue far more powerful and the way it's written means that tags and modifiers aren't necessary, it speaks for itself. You've also done a good job of capturing the essences of each character, particularly Eros' pessimism against Apollo's idealism. If anything, I think you could expand on this even more, perhaps giving Apollo the chance to counter a few more of Eros' arguments with his own (almost naive) optimism.
I particularly liked the line "I don't have the luxury of being as sure as the sun." This speaks a lot as to how Eros views the world and his place in it, perhaps you could develop this to include a tinge of jealousy towards Apollo for being the all-eternal sun-god whereas he sees his own work to be pointless and without merit. Which of course begs the question, why does he continue? If the fun has evaporated perhaps Eros could even hint at considering a career change, giving Apollo the chance to try and sway him otherwise.
Wow, this dialogue is so deep. I really love how I can feel the hopelessness from Eros and yet can still laugh at the idea of his trying to prove Apollo wrong by using his arrows against him.